WTF IS rip van quixote
(The Boring Version)
Rip Van Winkle, the ne'er do well that would help others but never seemed to help himself and slept through much of his adult life. Don Quixote, the old man lost in a fantasy of romance and adventure, tilting at windmills, seeing magic in a mundane world. Quixotic, the foolish pursuit of romantic lofty ideals. What better combination for the name of an alter ego of a man who spent decades with a head full of music and a heart full of fear?
Rip Van Quixote is a stage name, an alias, a persona that embodies the performer, an artistic creation as much as any song. It may seem silly, but at some point I had to realize that I was letting my insecurities and fears sabotage my dreams (though clearly it took a long time to overcome this). The doubts and introspective concerns that fed the songs themselves were paralyzing the productive end of the process (ADHD and related Executive Function Disorder, plus imposter syndrome and a host of insecurities instilled in me as a child playing a huge role in this). At some point it became too much, too many songs unfinished, too many projects undone, too many musical comrades frustrated by my never finishing what I started.
So, I created Rip Van Quixote, the performer. The songwriter/producer can keep all his insecurities and foibles, while Rip is the dreamer devoted to his craft, immune to the seeming impossibilities of his task. A strange creation, perhaps, but one that has enabled me to come this far, to put out music that, not perfect by any means (my inner critic is furious at this), has been far too long sitting incomplete, like abandoned children, crying out to see the world.
What will become of it? Who knows? I'm fearful it will all fail, but in such moments I step into the character of Rip and his willful naiveté, his joi de vivre, and move forward. These songs, this site, this material, all is the result of years of creation in hiding, of false starts and self-sabotage. Make of it what you will.